Understanding the Different Types of Love in the Bible

In a world where the word "love" is often overused and misunderstood, it's important to understand what love truly means in the biblical context. The New Testament was written in Greek, a precise language that uses different words to describe various types of love. By understanding these distinctions, we can better grasp what God expects from us and how we should love others.

What are the four Greek words for love in the Bible?

The Greek language provides us with four distinct words for love, each carrying its own unique meaning:

Agape - Selfless, Sacrificial Love

Agape is pure, selfless, and sacrificial love. It's the highest form of love - intentional and willful. Unlike other forms of love, agape isn't born out of emotion but is a choice of your will. You love because you choose to, not because you feel like it. This is the type of love God has for us and expects us to have for others.

Storge - Familial Love

Storge describes the natural affection shared between family members - parents, children, and siblings. It's the instinctive bond that exists within families.

Phileo - Brotherly Love

Phileo refers to warm, affectionate love between friends. This is where we get "Philadelphia," the city of brotherly love. It involves mutual respect and a high value for being in each other's presence. This type of love flourishes in genuine community, like what we experience in church fellowship.

Eros - Passionate Love

Eros describes passionate, intense love marked by physical attraction and desire. It's commonly shared between spouses or those in romantic relationships, focusing on the physical and emotional aspects of love.

Why is agape love considered supreme?

Agape love stands above all other forms because it's unconditional and sacrificial. In John 21:15-17, we see an interesting exchange between Jesus and Peter that highlights this distinction:

Jesus asks Peter, "Do you agape me?" (Do you love me unconditionally and sacrificially?)

Peter responds, "Yes Lord, you know that I phileo you." (I love you like a brother)

After asking twice about agape love, Jesus finally asks, "Do you phileo me?" This grieved Peter because Jesus had lowered the standard from unconditional love to brotherly love.

This exchange teaches us that Jesus calls us to a higher standard of love - not just friendly affection, but sacrificial commitment.

What kind of love has God given to us?

First John 3:1 says, "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God." The love God has given us is agape - sacrificial, pure, and unselfish. It's a love that desires the greatest good for all people, even our enemies.

We've been adopted into God's family not because we deserve it or have earned it, but because of His gracious love. John 1:12 reminds us that "to all who received Him, who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God."

Why doesn't the world understand Christians?

First John 3:1 continues, "The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know Him." The world doesn't understand or embrace Christians because we're meant to be different - a "peculiar" people.

Jesus warned in John 15:18-19, "If the world hates you, know that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. But because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you."

As Christians, we shouldn't expect universal approval. Our beliefs, values, speech, and conduct should differ from the world's. We don't need to fit in just to be liked.

Are popularity contests the same as truth contests?

Seeking approval from others just to be liked is a dangerous trap. As Luke 6 in the Message Bible puts it: "There's trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests."

Our task as Christians is to be true, not popular. Romans 12:2 instructs us, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind." The word "conformed" means to be pushed into a mold - we shouldn't allow the world to shape us into its image.

What will we become as God's children?

First John 3:2 tells us, "Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared. But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is."

Our true nature hasn't yet been fully revealed. What God has designed for us is far beyond what we could imagine. Like Michelangelo seeing King David inside a block of marble before he began sculpting, God sees what we will become even when others can't see it.

We are created in God's image as triune beings - body, soul, and spirit. Our bodies are the houses in which we live, our souls contain our will, emotions, and personality, and our spirits connect us to God. Though we are born spiritually dormant, Jesus breathes life into us, just as God breathed life into Adam.

How does hope in Christ purify us?

First John 3:3 says, "And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure." The hope we have in Christ is what purifies us and keeps us from conforming to the world.

Our hope and peace aren't found in popularity or fitting into society's mold, but in Jesus Christ, the blessed Hope. When we focus on Him and the promise that we will one day be like Him, we're motivated to live pure lives now.

Life Application

This week, consider how you can practice agape love in your daily life. Here are some questions to reflect on:

1. In what relationships am I settling for phileo love when God is calling me to agape love?

2. Am I making decisions based on popularity or truth?

3. How might my actions change if I truly believed that God sees in me what I cannot yet see in myself?

4. In what ways am I conforming to the world rather than being transformed by Christ?

Challenge yourself to make one conscious choice each day to love someone sacrificially - not because you feel like it, but because you choose to. Remember that true love is a decision, not just an emotion. As you practice this kind of love, you'll begin to reflect more of God's character and experience the purifying power of hope in Christ.